I'm still looking for the pieces.

I am a very loud and crazy person at times. But i definitely do not hide my anger or grudges against someone. (Not definitely... sometimes I still do cause when I talk I don't process what I say) I like to blog often about anything and meaningless things. Things that do not provide any information or learning skills to others. I am one who if i have a friend, treasure them till no end. This is one of my weakness that if i should say to lost a friend i would just run down. However if my friend was to be hurt, i would give my whole support and anything i could just do to help.

I am not picky in ways but fussy in ways. Like, I only eat onions if they are boiled with soup or when it's the fried onions onions. I don't eat them if they are fried with vegetables that sort of fried. There are things which I am not picky about but i would complain just cause i have no idea why. I do not hesitate to hug the friends i love or tell them i love them cause... maybe i do hesitate.

When my bad temper mode is on, I'd do things I regret, shout and throw my tantrum everywhere. Which now i would still like to learn how to control. I can go high on the mountain and drop down and cry in the next minute. But I am happy that I don't curse in every sentence i say now. Which is a major improvement compared to high school. Every sentence i say would definitely have at least 2 swear words. I still say it now, just not that often. I always ruin my first impression. I don't know if being too straight forward at the beginning would frighten someone or not, but I feel that it is an easier way to approach people. Telling them on first time that I am this loud and crazy girl.

There are many many times where I am very contradicting with myself because me, as an indecisive person cannot make up what i want or which side to stand on. I would consider myself at times to be a very conflicting and complicating person myself. I do not know what am I going after and what I want to achieve. I just have many things that I want to learn and know about. Does that consider as 'I know what i want to achieve'?

I still can't find myself. I still am in the process. Maybe you would think 18 is too old for me to not know what i want, but i dare to say, i really don't know what i want! I feel that i have still a lot more to learn before finding myself. What does finding myself means anyway? Does it mean I understand myself? Knowing my own character? I don't know. But i just know I change everyday. Everyday single day would make me up until the day I die.

And I am afraid to die. I am scared of leaving this world forever with only memories to bring me along and not the physical things i love and treasure once. I try to forget but I'm scared to leave. Just not yet. NO i'm not thinking of dying, but just the thought of leaving things I love behind and never coming back freaks me out.

I get jealous very easily but forget it in like 1o seconds. I don't revenge if I see someone better than me that has taken something away from me. But I would try to be better in order to be able to compete with myself and the other person that is better than me.

This is a weird post and I don't know if everthing of what i wrote is right cause i just typed whatever came to mind. Honestly I am not being emo. Just a long thought that ran through my head.

and just gotta fix the puzzle.

BTW, someone stole the crucifix from St. Peter's church. And since today is Halloween, well, guess these people are up to no good. Pray that no harm is done and I think that if the crucifix is gone, so be it. But we gotta believe in what we believe. Pray people!

Sin Kuo Wei. Happy Birthday!

New sun.

felt like i just updated yesterday. mana tau sudah one week plus. listening to fly fm for 'supernatural' encounter since tomorrow is halloween~

i really wanna run to singapore now and hold my 'new arrival' baby cousin paige! hahaha. she.. erm.. 'drop in' yesterday at 6-7 something! wooohoo! can't wait! yayayayayya

i've been very slacky and moody these days. i think i am not having enough food.

next week study leave. pray pray i score. not doing very well for this sem. hmm.. oh. i forgot to update during my birthday also! hahaha. and met up with su, ping, ting and lyz! woooohoooo! so long never see them. i was so excited when i saw elyse i ran to her. LOL.

haih. i am nearing to 'i-think-i-wanna-delete-my-blog' already. not that i don't want blog, but want blog also nothing to say.

I'm Awesome. What's your excuse?

yesterday was a crazy day! i was super stressful cause it was presentation, at first i was fine but when it was nearing i just got crazy. anyway it's over now! we did airline =D

nat, vi, ivy and me

vi. me

nat. ivy

after presentation, banyak stress already release. and then! suddenly amanda came in with a cake. so the usual bersemangat me also followed the others that was singing the birthday song. then i think think i ask nat who's birthday. and mana tau, itu birthday cake is for me. itu birthday song also for me! walao. i cry until can banjir already. haha. so fun though. it was a total surprise. thanks everyone! especially amanda, nat, ivy, vivien, abby, eric and kc. =D

also to everyone that wish me and ate the cake also, hope you like it. =D super surprise until today i'm not over it.

me and the present from the girls. love it!

thank you a million times again people! i love it and was definitely surprised! haha! thanks.

and i really had no clue cause i'm not in my birthday mood yet and my birthday is not only until this saturday la! nat won't be here that's why they did it yesterday. and i was so close to telling nat off for not telling me about this plan but later realized that it was suppose to be a surprise. so genius la me! haha

lunch with ms.mei yee

I'm not the big bully!

I SO MISS BLOGGING LA!!!!!!!!! but everytime i come back i have no idea what to say! i've been going back to the rc craze cause now i can't find anything to do. i decided to reread my nanny book but i don't know if that will last for very long.

tomorrow got presentation! so gan jiong!
you know ah! i tell you all who are reading ok! i know i look like i got the big bully face, but right.. it is actually nat and vivien that always bully me one. always they hit me ah, nobody see one.. also don't know why! but when i hit them back cause they hit me first then people will say why i bully them!! so cham lor! even my family also say i go coll bully people one... sad betul la!

i just had bubble tea just now that i have been waiting to have since a week ago. so sien i got nothing to write. haih.. bye la!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1076235313071&ref=mf

you might wanna log in to facebook only watch that video. it kinda reminds me of what nat would do.

i'm just curious is it only my family that goes to giant and prob 40% of what we buy are drinks.

the weather sucks. so does what is going on in my brain. i think nat 'promoted' me again. LOL. thanks nat. =D

Berbonding. Anyone?

been awhile since i slept for 12 hours. thanks to friday holiday i got to sleep 12 hours! yay! iron-ed 4 shirts in 3 hours. LOL. fast eh? i've not been exactly busy but not exactly free also. it seems there are more things to be settled than i think there is but less than i think there is.

i realize there are countless things that i wanna learn. just cause i wanna know what it feels like. definitely money is included to learn these things but sometimes it's just fun when you get to experience what the other person is talking about.

some people tend to think i am hyperactive. but i am not 247 on a sugar rush. i have mood swings and i only go crazy when i have a partner. lol. i don't wanna be crazy all alone. it sometimes is fun to just forget about certain things and 'live the moment'.

my post are all so boring i myself is starting to fall asleep. i might need to do more things. don't want to be so old lady. eat sleep watch tv. though it is pretty much what i love to do. damn! just check my camera and i have no pictures. so sad la!

terima kasih! lol.

btw i'm not doing a comparing thing. just so you know.

Pixels.

today we had a great catch up with mr.indie. and shocking things by vivien the weirdo. presentation next week. berganjiong. so many things happening la these days. also keep forgetting things.

it's the little things that count.
to some it doesn't matter.
to me, it does.

What more do you want?

there's nothing much to say.
it is just the way it is.

no head. no tail.

i keep thinking today is thursday. which is super confusing. didn't had a good day in the morning but later on felt better. =D

she's a genius is super stucked in my head. so is note to god. haha. and apparently i talk right.. got no head no tail just body.

so i gonna end now. bye

currently in media hub youtube-ing and powerpoint-ing. and perhaps waiting for nat's reply.

sucks to have lousy internet connection at home. now only my sis can use the net. so bergeram.

seriously nothing go on and i kinda keep leaving my camera at home so there's no pictures.

i was suppose to do a post on jing's bday but i forgot... and i tak de your picture. LOL. sorry ah. but i already berwish her like 3 times. hahaha.

nothing d. bye la.

back from the grave.

I MISS BLOGGING LARR! not that i have much to blog though, since i've been a little more busy than others as internet connection is always 'far away'.

haih! my blog! i already have quite little readers and my lousy internet connection doesn't make it better. seriously all i've been doing since my internet gone down was assignments and watch tv. non stop. i don't feel lifeless to say, but abit lack of entertainment.


hah! this is a picture of my hand getting hit. it started off with a game where you can't say a specific number and the punishment was to get hit. and when i lost, SOMEONE had to hit me so hard my hand got red. so i used it and tell people how violent she is. LOL. and the magic person is none other than.......

NATALIE CHAI!

this reminds me to not play any game with her involving getting hit or anything.
ps. it's redder than it is in the picture. lol

she is pretty much the one that has the tendency to hit/squish/step 'unknowingly'. and basically me only. she doesn't hit/squish/step ivy or amanda or vivien or abby. and i don't think she has anything against me.. NAT... DO YOU???! she doesn't know her strength. she hits you hard and will apologize alot after she know it hurts. and before i could ask her to not squish me so hard she would have already squish me. and never rest your feet near hers. cause she will never know that she's stepping on someone feet and not the floor.

sounds bad eh? but to me she is quite fun and mostly her randomness is what i find funny. though i do think twice whether she have emotions. or perhaps she's emotionless. muahaha. maybe spies doesn't have feelings lor. OMG. my so-hard-only-can-online-and-blog post becoming a natalie post! hahaha.

i'm so happy internet is working. just pray it sustains. and btw sis's internet connection works so much better. no fair. and a hint of the internet not working is coming back!

I've got face problem.