sometimes we just wanna disappear. no. sometimes, I just wanna disappear

j and co donuts. mango blitz, tira miss u and some oreo thing

and obviously some "me" in the middle. =)

shoes and shades i love. some of the shoes here.this looks ugly from here. but the best i've got.i got bored.mmm~~licious.
i got that shell from cape town, south africa. :)
[choki choki from steph =)]

i realize i kinda enjoy doing the dishes now. i know it's weird to say that, but i always fix up my sis's headset and blast the music, so i can just sing everything out. and the sink is like outside so it's cool especially at night.
and my dad was saying i sing too loud(in a not good way)
but it's just nice to hear nothing not even yourself. just drowning away to the music in your ears. not hearing whatever people are talking about you. and for that "washing plate" moment, i just don't have to care about anyone. i'm doing the dishes you can't blame me. but it's nice to just disappear for a while. only singing your everything out although you're out of tune. you can't even hear. just not care about studies or money or what homework you haven't do, to text your girlfriend or boyfriend. there's just nothing to care about. and it feels darn good. feels good to disappear. to be invisible. sometimes. just for a moment.
no pain. no worries. no thinking. no stress. no problems. not even happy times. it's just "that" moment. and i'm happy to be feeling extremely great tonight since exactly 3 months ago was a disaster. nothing seems to be going right now. nothing. nothing at all. dammit.

hmm... these weeks, i've been editing my jeans, since doing it myself can save me money.. $$$$
so yea. erm. i got this jeans which my mom's friend gave, and the waist was too high so i just snap it off. fuckin mom pissing me off while i'm typing this. wtf is wrong with using the comp? it's not like spm is tomorrow! fuck it! ughhh


anyway this is how it is. dammit.

this is the skirt i'm editing myself too but not sure into what yet.

this is what i've done for the past year in art class. haha. so proud. lol

thanks to suu giving me some patchi chocolate.
i'm not craving for it more than ever!

i've had a rough week. i don't know what's going on. i lost alot of things. like books this shit that shit.oh my gawd!!! ughh
everyday tuition shit. then wed got bowling shit. then this year got theory exam shit. so many shit stuff to do! i got no time to watch tv at all!

saying bout tv reminds me that i went to the astro award thingy. where charmaine sheh(is that how you spell it?), kok jun on, tong yun yun, gigi lai, bosco, lam fong and those that i don't know the names. it was quite fun yelling like shit but i don't watch mandarin or this kinda show much. so i'm not like the hyped-up crazy fan.
also sunday i was suppose to go out with kc. yam cha watch movie and all. but apparently he got aunt's birthday lunch. so wtf. i just went with my sis anyway. but did nothing also. i made my sis bought j and co donuts since i don't have cash and since she took mine. 2 bucks for one. it's all sweet sweet only. recommended if you buy some and share. cause it's damn freakin sweet to me. eat two bites ad enough. i liked the mango blitz though. =)
some pics on the way, i got not much time to upload. arsenal beat newcastle 3-1 or 3-0 i think. i can't remember as long as they won. i'm not even sure if it's newcastle. my life is just a total blurr now....

and also. gam ngam, today's the 28th. and i hate 28ths. anyway me and li jing got some similarities. besides the fact that i'm lazier, we have small boobs( as in not bigger than atiqah's[if you read this atiqah, it's a compliment mate]), our relationship sucks, we're both dark and skinny, can't stop talking, and so on so forth. so we're planning to do somethings together. in different ways though. i don't think you get what i mean.

so today's just a freakin 28th. and i hate it.

it hurts and sucks to miss the person you love.
it hurts and sucks to see the person you love happy, but without you.
it hurts and sucks when you've got no money to buy what you want.
it hurts and sucks when you've got all the money but can't buy back your relationship.
it hurts and sucks when everything hurts and sucks.

back!

walao. my blog start having spider webs ad... damn busy nowadays. monday to friday also sure got things to do. anyway. where should i start? hmm..
the most recent one.. my fuckin computer have to reformat and i have to reinstall all those messenger plus shit and change everything and edit this and that.
still figuring stuff out that doesn't even exist in my comp.
last week was andrew scott, matthaeus, marianne's birthday! happy birthday. belated.
now reading gossip girl again. since i can't find anything else to read besides text books.
i don't watch tv at all now. no matches. no movies. no shopping. wtf is this life weh.
my dad is so scared i'll die in the future but while i'm the one dying, he's the one worrying. sad. whatever.
i miss holidays weh. i can just pig out. sleep. watch tv. online everyday. do whatever i want. go shopping whenever i want. well. some of the time. paint my nails. call whoever.
now so fuckin busy and we're like seniors of chs. i joined the wushu club too on gerko day since it's the only uniform body that doesn't need to march.
bowling also. and lm lah duh.
so confused now. dunno what i just said. upload pics now. i know you miss me.. (:

for now, i like it like that and i ain't gonna cut it.
my mom's good at wrapping hampers.
oh. and the orange wall behind is the new colour painted downstairs.

my mom also sew curtains. sheer purple. now me and my sis room is warmer. not so freakin bright like last time. and we have to change out bed sheet to match it instead of the yellow green one. how much i complain bout her sometimes i still love her. yea. sometimes.
i got so pissed one day that i just cut my jeans. not exactly mine. i haven't bought a jeans in what? 5 years? newayz it's all hand me downs. so whatever. i cut one long jeans to shorts and the other i ripped the top off. pics not here.yet. will upload it next time. when i'm free.

arsenal's points same la. wtf. with man u. i don't mencacikan man u. i support man u whoever they play with. just that i support arsenal more. so i don't exactly hate man u.

and today is 23rd. it's erm.. 4 months ago that we were together.. haiz.. 4 months sound kinda long. 2 more months away and it's half a year. (if ting and lyz read this. i know what i'm gonna get)

valentines nearly here! don't get blinded by money! all the chinese new year. maybe chinese new year is the best time for you to visit your friend, and get a date for valentines. that's for people like me who's single.
people like elyse, well she'll just have to think what she needs to get her boyfriend. haha. good luck people! missin ya!

GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT.
I LOVE YOU!
M.I.P.

take care sucka's! love you guys!
i'll try to update more often. sorry.

arsenal vs. birmingham

oh yea. arsenal vs. birmingham.
draw. 1-1. wtf. anyway arsenal's leading.
so. like that la.

sien leh. and busy leh. monday, wednesday, thursday got tuition, tuesday got green house.
friday got tuition also. then at night go piano. saturday got art class and have to do house work.
then sunday morning to church then post-con. then now want join admin also..
tsk tsk tsk.. busy busy

saturday went to edu fair.(izzit fair or fare? dunno)
i saw gi, cathy, flat chest(wei jiat), samuel. samantha tan also. working there. lol
go collect rubbish with my dad. all those brochures and paper they give. go see all the colleges.
hmm.. nothing much la. just go look see look see. nita say suu saw her. and suu told her i was late.. huh???

anyway. today go sfx. lepas tu found out no class. so i go yam cha with marianne and arnold.
dai ga jie belanja wor. she told me yesterday her bday party. got 8 bottles for 30 people. which averagely sounds little. but got 2 people got drunk. apparently one sat lun.. what the crap. just finish writing my resume. wtf. aiya. i got nothing much to blog about la. except if you're willing to read about me moaning bout him again. not much. but i think he's trying to avoid me. since he doesn't online AT ALL now, doesn't seem to have credit in his phone although that time i reloaded for him. updated his friendster though. no fate. haha

oh. that time my dad found lizard eggs. =)

tiny little eggs. abit gross in real life.the trio looks so fake.
it's real apples and orange k.. the colours are nice. =)

oh yea. i painted my toenails again. when my parents weren't around obviously. painting my nails are like forbidden cause i have ass pee m. wth does painting my nails got to do with ass pee m? damn!! anyway i now only realize my right side of my first right toe is dead. as in you can just cut off the whole right side of the nail and i won't even scream. so.. like that la.
i painted them stripes. haha. kinda look like baseball though. wait. cricket. yea. i think it's cricket. the black and white one. but mine's black and silver since i don't have white. hahaha.
fuckin' lame.

takes nice nails and nice toes and steady hand and good skills
and good photographer to do this and take this pic.
which= to me.
yeayea. wtf. you can do it. blablabla. i don't give a shit.

now i don't know what feeling i have now. i feel abit sesat. confused. not really happy. not really sad. not normal. just ughh.. i don't know!!!! how can i even tell you how i feel when i don't even know how I feel???

MISS AND LOVE YOU LOADX!!

OLA SUCKAS!

p.s: hooked on to won't go home without you(maroon 5), breakin dishes and don't stop the music(rihanna), stop and stare (one republic), still loving boston by augustana and not getting bored of it.

for you

nothing describes the feeling that i have,
not the words spoken,
not the letters written.
after time passes,
i realized you forgot that i exist,
don't remember i existed.
i cry of the words from your mouth,
i tear everytime i lie to myself,
saying you will love me again.
thinking you will. love me more.
thoughts of you make me smile,
everytime i cry.
your laughter, your loves, your fears.
rewinds in my mind so sheer.
i can't exactly remember,
but i know it happened.
and i will remember those moments forever.
because it truly is the greatest thing that has happened to me.

the smile on your face when there's your american brownie.
the pace your heart beats when i hug you.
the strength you wanna show me that you can protect me.
the warmth you wanna give me to make sure i'm not cold.
everything you do makes me wanna smile.
everything i do seems worthwhile.

waiting. still waiting.
although i know it's only in my dream.
loving. still loving.
although it's not strong but it's growing still. still there.
waiting.
loving.
you.

i hate to miss the smell of your giorgio armani.
i hate to miss talking to you.
i hate to miss listening to your voice.
i hate to miss your laughter.

because i wish you were just here. right beside me.

i love the way you talk to me, kiss me.
i love the way you lie just to hold my hand.
i love the way you hug me that i can feel your heartbeat. fast.
i love the way you persuade me.
i love the way you lie on my lap.
i love to see the smile on your face.
i love to see a sudden of your text message.


i love.


i just.


i love.


i just love.


i just love you.


i love you.

WRITTEN BY:
WHO ELSE BUT ME?
F

walao. darn long didn't update my blog d. i sesat in alot of things.
yes. ALOT. form 5. school. hw. tuition. and so on.
anyway schools ok. i'm already lazy. (when am i ever hardworking besides near exam? i don't think i even study during exam... i don't know. haha)
anyway. thursday was holiday eh? i told my mom i got extra add maths class. i really do have!! i didn't lie!! just that i didn't go. i told her there's extra class and i said i'm going to school. i didn't say i'm going to school FOR extra class. see? that makes a genius!
i went mv. with atiqah. we went HHH.
i tell you.. people there all sesat betol!! ALL the hot dudes all dah pupus. haha
but later after hanging around. makan and stuff. we went gsc. walao! bunches! groups! of hot hot hot dudes! like 6 here. 4 there. 1 there. 2 there. they're everywhere! me and her went cuckoo. lol.
we didn't watch movie though. the line was so freakin long. so we just "spy" on the hot dudes. and there's this ONE. guy. tall. gorgeous. wuu... he's seriously good lookin. =) they're all mat salleh. hahaha

enough bout that. erm. oh yea. i forgot to say few days before. i dreamt bout him. lol. he hug me from the back. but we were just friends. i wanted to push him away. but i just miss him so much. dammit. i reloaded for him also. unknowingly. you guys can say i'm stupid whatever but i didn't complain so you shut up. anyway i don't think he even knows someone did reloaded for him. it's kinda like he already know someone will reload for him and he just use it like it was already there. anyway i heard he's with a girl or something. some mun mun or what?.. haha
i dunno. i try try very hard not to msg him at all. cause that day i realize what my cousin was saying about his ex. that she's annoying. so i don't want to annoy him.
i'll just leave it to god. and belief in faith. like he says. =)

people. go check out www.chsprom.blogspot.com
its our prom thingy. you better go see cause if you want the party to be what you want, then go see. if on that day you think the party sucks, don't blame us. you just didn't vote for anything or suggest anything. it sucks for you.. too bad. cause we LOVE seeing you mad. bye suckas!

signing off now.
p.s: you know it's always about me

LOVING YOU! STILL.
HOPE YOU STILL REMEMBER I EXIST.

sorry guys!

sorry guys. been real busy lately. i realize i haven't even finish updating my last post.actually i don't even know how many of you guys DO read my blog. newayz here's it.

chicken anyone? father and son.


it's delicious. =)

fark la. i damn lazy to update. anyway first day of school was first day of school?
miss my friends tons =)
thursday went for accounts tuition.
then friday after school went to add maths tuition. at night went for party.
it was kinda fun since uncle dick came with his audio system all those stuff
music. drinks. dance.= party
anyway he came. i didn't say hi or what. he also didn't say wert.
me and my sis were just dancin till our butts fell off.
so tired now. i want go zzz d.
owh. and my house now repainting. so i'm cleaning my room also. =)

me and my cuz.
you gotta have long legs to pose like that. *winkz!

P.S. DON'T TRY TO BE ME.
CAUSE IF YOU TRY TOO HARD..
HMM.. WHO KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN?

LOVE YOU!

new year's day.

new year's first day. hmm. not very new to me though.
went to sfx for new year's mass since ckk doesn't have. after mass then went to ipoh chicken rice there makan. went to pudu market a while. just mom and sis. we wait in the car. they grab some stuff then we head home.

have to prepare for dinner since grand dad and cousin is coming for a simple dinner. cam whored in the car. =)who else besides me eh? =)

me and gin.ben and me.
dad and me.
gin. zzzing. hahaben and me zzing also. haha
hey. pretty people gets tired easily. xp

so this was our day. haha. had fun cam whoring. won't be so free next year to even grab a came. haiz. sucks weh. TT

update sometime.dad

Happy new year? sad new year?

this is the worst new year's eve i've ever had.
my mom was like so against me and my sis going to pyramid for count down and i was so bloody lookin forward to it!
and while people counting down and all, screaming shouting having fun, i just watch miami ink and house on new year's eve and update my blog.
it's just........................ tooooo



SAD!!

and next year. well THIS year. i'm only 8 months away from disaster!!=spm
minus holidays and shit. fark weh.....
i don't want 2008. gawd. this is the saddest new year i've ever ever ever ever had. i'm desperate in need for fun party drinks whatever you can get me. laughter. it's been sooo long since i laugh till i've got stomach ache until i can't breathe. and i ting can sigh after laughing.

this is seriously not a good start for the new year.

anyway hope you guys enjoyed your day. since no one will be reading this. today.

I FELL DEAD.